If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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