I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
