its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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