He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
