I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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