...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
