you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have aggressive nipples.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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