where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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