you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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