Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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