so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
