yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
