Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
