my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
