So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
no you cant smoke seaweed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
