I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
