is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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