I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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