I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
