I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
