There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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