I'm really into asian looking animals
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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