when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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