ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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