Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
