I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
