Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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