I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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