what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize