No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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