If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
