I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
