Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
