i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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