how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
