Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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