i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
