Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us

(205): View more from Alabama

that didnt stop you

(252): View more from North Carolina

nope

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer

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(518): View more from New York

Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.

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(514): View more from Quebec

He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people

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(317): View more from Indiana

I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date

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