4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
