Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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