if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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