Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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