Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
