Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
