Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
