Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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