I am in a vortex of obligation.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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