found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize