I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
