I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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