Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
