i dedicated my morning wood to you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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