i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
