I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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