My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
