Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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