I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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