He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
