you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
